I have been putting off writing a post partially out of denial, partially out of not wanting to stimulate the flood of emotions that is certain to happen. Yesterday was my last day at HPH Hospice (Hernando Pasco Hospice when I started 9 years and 2 months ago.) This has been the longest time that I have stayed at a job, and far longer than any romantic relationship I have been in. I have learned so much about life, living, family dynamics, psych issues, drug issues, love, pain, bowels, elderly sexuality, nudist resorts, compassion, stress, tenacity, hope, dying, peace, angels, laughing until you lose bladder control, and crying until you vomit.
In 1997 my sister Dana started working at Hernando Pasco Hospice as the Children's Assistance Program coordinator. I was quickly recruited by her to volunteer at CAP camp as the camp nurse with Traci (who would later become my supervisor and one of my favorite people.) It was such a soul touching/soul searching experience to see the honesty and strength of grieving children. I am forever impacted by the experience. In 1999 I attended my 2nd CAP camp and met Dana's new boss Chaplain Tom, who would become a wonderful friend to both Dana and me, and a person who tried with all of his might to teach me to control my stress with breathing and mindfulness and meditation. (I did GREAT when he was there, but not so great on my own.) I am still trying though. It was difficult to tell Tom that I was leaving, so I took the chicken $H!t way out and told him by email. He met up with us for lunch in Miami this past weekend, and we visited and took him to Bass ProShop and the airport. He also came over yesterday to tell me goodbye. He is so special! In 2001 I interviewed in Hudson, then they sent me to East Pasco to meet with Dawn and the supervisors. I sat in the "old office" waiting for Dawn. There was a receptionist who looked like Dame Edna (perfect hair, perfect makeup, sweet looking older lady) then a young girl walked in and Dame Edna started yelling at her "Laura Weber, you little shit! I am going to beat your little ass if you don't turn in your damn notes!!" I thought, "I am in the wrong place. Dame Edna is a mean mean woman." Laura would become one of my best friends, one of my bridesmaids, and may still have issues with timeliness of turning in notes. A few years later I "saved" Dame Edna's (Sara) life by killing a baby black widow spider that was on her desk. She is deathly afraid of spiders. She retired, and we miss her so much. I actually took the job and moved by the end of November. After orientation I was put on the ECF/ALF team where I was paired with nurse Rhoda (who I had worked with at CAP camp), Jeanne and Kristi as my home health aides, and Laura (the little shit that Dame Edna was yelling at!) We had a great team! I quickly became attached at the hip with Jeanne, so much so that some of the nursing homes thought I was a home health aide. She taught me how to stand and "fight it out" instead of running away from issues, which was my way of dealing with conflict. She did this by pissing me off, then putting the child locks on the doors and driving around town until I would fight with her. I have learned so much more from her than she has from me! (Some good, some bad, and some really really dirty!) I did teach her to quit mixing multiple scents on patients, making them smell like a mixed fruit salad. Jeanne worked feverishly to find me "a man" for years. She would stop in the middle of the street, roll down MY window, and yell out at any man that was listening "My friend thinks you are hot and she is single! She has a big ass and tits too!" Now that I think about it, why do I love Jeanne??? She has tortured me! Seriously, we have so much fun picking on each other! She and Mike were in our wedding too. Mike also came to my last Zumba class and danced with us!! That was amazing! When I worked in the nursing homes with Jeanne we went to one that had a DEMON of a nurse Diane. She was mean to me, argued with me, and made me cry a lot. I almost quit hospice at 4 1/2 years because of Diane. I switched to the home team to get away from Demon Diane, hoping to make it to 5 years 3 months so I would be fully vested in my profit sharing. THEN Dawn wanted to hire her!! AND she did hire her!! I wanted to barf every time I saw her, but she was on my turf now! Then one day something changed. I realized that my patients were well cared for, medicated appropriately, clean, neat, and their families were prepared for what was happening. She was GREAT at hospice nursing. This woman who used to fight me and didn't want to medicate patients was doing a great job! I finally told her "Oh, I know my patient is going to be in good hands" when I saw she was the 24 hour nurse. Today, she is a wonderful friend and I wouldn't trade her for anything. I worked closely with a wonderful group of nurses, home health aides, social workers and chaplains on the ECF team, then the home team. Just before I got married Traci broke the news to me that she was transferring to the East Hernando office, so the supervisor position would be open. I thought about it, applied, and took the position. This decision would take me out of the field and put me in the office with Kristi (who was my HHA when I first started). I have grown very close to Kristi after spending so much time with her. We laugh at each other, shoot rubber bands, and throw small paper clips at each other. We had a great time. That doesn't mean we didn't get irritated with each other. It was a hard decision to leave her, as well as Jeanne, Diane, Bonnie, Tom, the list goes on and on. These people are my family, and have seen me through so much over the years. I will have to post specific memories as I think of them. This is the first post of many about my wonderful memories and why I will miss them.
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