Loss of a Magical Man.

Here is the note that Uncle Richard wrote to Robert and me after our visit in October. I just received it this weekend. He gave it to Mama and Daddy to give to me. Like so much of his writing, it was on the back of a Subway napkin, and will be treasure by me more than gold! He wasn't able to write for a while because of the tumor on his middle finger, but he was able to write this for us. I miss you Uncle Richard.Here is what I wrote for Uncle Richard's celebration of life. I truly felt him with me as I read it. I have so many more stories. Maybe I will write a book about him some day.

The Story of Uncle HoHo

For as long as I can remember, Uncle Richard has been magical. My earliest memories are of him showing me baby chicks hatching, and holding an egg up to my ear and hearing a faint little “peep, peep” coming from inside. New life was always springing up on the farm. He would say, “If you come by tomorrow, that mama hen is going to have babies, but they are going to be ducklings!” The next day, plain ole Mama hen had hatched baby Cayuga ducks. Magical! I couldn’t wait to see what kind of cute furry baby would show up next! I also loved how all of his animals got along. The dogs didn’t fight the chickens, or the deer, or the turkeys, or cows or sheep. It was how I imagine Heaven is: peaceful coexistence. He could get cows to walk down the side of the road in a single file line just by walking beside them. If one slowed down, he would gentle say, “Freckles, pick up the pace. You are slowing everyone down and nobody likes a slow poke. Panda face and Banny aren’t going to walk behind you anymore.” Freckles would pick up the pace. Magical! He could raise any type of bird or animal, nurse them back to health, and send them back into nature. He was never attacked by Weed-Eater, the demon possessed billy goat that chased everyone at least once and Mama several times. The geese didn’t hiss at him. None of them ever acted threatening to him or scared of him. He was always so patient when we called him several times each spring. I know when the first spring winds started to blow, that he expected it. Every baby dove and sparrow that fell from the poorly made nests became Uncle Richard’s next baby to raise. He would put them in a sock, under a heat lamp and lay them in a box beside him on the floor so he could feed them every hour, or he would put them in his shirt pocket to carry around the farm. He always seemed to have a baby something or other in his shirt pocket. He would say, “Guess what I have in my pocket?? If you guess, I will name it after you.” He raised the babies and let them go. He wanted them to be wild and free. Some would come back to visit when he was in the yard, like baby blue jay after he was grown and flying with the big blue jays or Beauty, the doe that stayed around the farm for years. They came back because he is magical.

I would walk along the river with Uncle Richard, Mamaw, Beauty the deer, and any number of turkeys, doves and dogs. We hunted for rocks, picking them up and discussing the beauty of each one. Several of them made it back to the house and were placed on the shelves in the kitchen. You see, like Mamaw, Uncle Richard saw the beauty and uniqueness in each rock, just as he saw the beauty, uniqueness and talent in each of us Grandchildren. He accepted us where we were, just as we were, and encouraged our talents always. He saw talent, gifts and worth in each of us, even when we couldn’t see it in ourselves. Children flocked to him, and he loved each of us for our uniqueness and despite our flaws. After leaving each visit, you could only feel special, talented, and uniquely LOVED. He is so much like Jesus in this way.

Long after Mamaw Outlaw forgot the words to “Happy Birthday,” she remembered the words to “Tennessee Waltz” so she and Uncle Richard would call me on my birthday to sing. He would start by snapping his fingers and saying “a one, and a two and GO, I was dancin’ with my darlin’ …” Then he would say “Bring it home Mama!” and she sang louder “to the Tennessee Waltz!” It was magical.

Uncle Richard and Nannie Smith had a special friendship too. When Nannie was getting close to death, Uncle Richard came to visit and sang songs to her that he had just written. The songs were “Mellow Out” and “Little Dove.” She tapped her foot and smiled weakly. She loved him so. He had “escorted” her safely to Florida and back, been there after Grandad died, and made her laugh through her tears. When they were together, they were like prank pulling children. It was so special that she would be his first live audience for songs that he would one day record and sing at “The Blue Bird Café.” I can only imagine their reunion in Heaven: tears, hugs, and lots of magical laughter.

When Nicole was about 3 years old, we all came home from Florida for Christmas. As we drove to Mama and Daddy’s house, we saw Uncle Richard walking the cows along the side of the road in a single file line. Nicole’s big brown eyes got as big a saucers, her mouth fell open and she gasped and whispered, “IT’S HO HO.” She saw the magic too! She thought he was Santa. Her Mom explained that he was Uncle Richard, but she could call him Uncle Ho Ho, which he loved.

Uncle Richard, I miss you. Goodbye. I remember. ‘Til we meet again, under the biggest, prettiest Magnolia tree in Heaven. Wait for me there. I will be there shortly, for our time on Earth is but a blink of an eye.

Love,

Shannon Outlaw-Kimsey

7-11-2011

Heaven Has a New Dancing Angel.

When I think back as far as I can remember, I remember loving dancing, any kind, anywhere, any time, just DANCING. I loved to dance, I loved to watch other people dance, and I still do. I think the love of dance was in my blood. Nannie loved music and dancing, Mamaw and Papaw Outlaw loved to dance any chance they got, so we all got it honestly. Another HUGE factor in my love of dance was Miss Minnie Simpson. You see, Miss Minnie taught dance in our home town forever. She taught my sister Dana, and retired in 1985 after Dana's senior year. I started taking dance from her in 1975 when I was 3 1/2 years old. Miss Minnie taught us so much more than dance, though. She taught us poise, how to be young ladies, and not act like "heathens" running up and down the street before dance class (I had a hard time learning that). She was graceful, kind, firm when she needed to be, and so talented. She and Mr PB were like a 3rd set of grandparents to us. Everybody wanted to be a Simpson because they were all smart, good looking and so talented!! When I say talented, I mean WAY more talented than one family should be allowed to be! It really wasn't quite fair. The Simpson children were singers, dancers, classical pianists, engineers, neurosurgeons, lawyers, jet mechanics! There was not a "dud" in the bunch! We loved going to their house for Halloween, because John and Tommy always had rigged up ghosts to fly out of the trees and spooky music to come on triggered by God only knows what! Holidays and recital times were always so special. They would sing and play the piano! Such a happy home!
Each summer we went to "dance sessions" with Miss Minnie. My first one was when I was 6 and we went to Meridian, Mississippi. We went to a "big town" dance session each summer and smaller ones in Jackson or Meridian during the year. We went to New Orleans, Memphis, St Louis, Houston, to name a few. We danced all day, and went out on the town most of the night. We had a blast!! I remember going to New Orleans on one of many trips there for dance sessions. We were walking all over town exploring. Miss Minnie was the perfect tour guide, because she was always very aware of her surroundings and could gracefully redirect us out of the way of "trouble." I remember walking down the street and her saying "Ok girls, lets cross the street now." When asked why, she said "There are ladies of the evening up ahead, so we need to cross now." I was probably 8 and had no clue what "ladies of the evening" were, and of course, I could not let it drop. One of my sisters friends yelled out "She means HOOKERS!" I still had no clue, but Miss Minnie said, "Now girls, we don't talk like that" and scurried us to a safer part of the street. I can't imagine taking on the responsibility of several teen girls in a big city when the only other adults with her were my parents most of the time. She was fearless! Other dance instructors knew her and respected her. She was, well, FABULOUS.
I just found out tonight that my beloved Miss Minnie is now dancing before God on streets of gold. I find comfort in the fact that she finally knows how much she means to me and 100's of other "little dancing girls" who have now grown up. God bless you and keep you. With love, Shannon

A Rare Treat.

Robert and I had Sunday and Labor Day Monday off together for the first time in 5 years!! We decided to take a quick "get away" trip to an area not too far from home. My friend Maria told me about Winter Park, which is just north of downtown Orlando. It is the most quaint town, with parks, museums, gardens, flowers, a boat ride through the lakes in town, and the most adorable boutiques and restaurants!! We decided to go Saturday evening after Robert got off work and come home Sunday evening. We booked a room through Priceline, and got a steal of a deal for last minute holiday weekend reservations! We stayed at the DoubleTree in Downtown Orlando. It was really nice. We went to the pool and relaxed for a while, then went to the room. I kept reading the hotel menu and book. They had chocolate chip bananas foster!!! I WANTED it, but I didn't NEED it. I didn't break down and order it, but I did read the other hotel information. We planned on sleeping in, since nothing would be open early on Sunday. At 2:30am I woke up for what I assumed was a bathroom run, but as I cleared my head I realized I smelled smoke! Not sure if I was dreaming, I took a minute and walked around, but as I got closer to the bathroom and the door, the smoke got stronger. I had just read the damn hotel information a couple of hours before about what to do in case of a fire, HOW COULD THIS BE??? I woke Robert up and told him something was on fire, so we got dressed and got all of our stuff together and found our way to the stairwell and ran down 5 flights of stairs, only to see a sign that said "If you exit the door, you will be outside" so we went up a flight and out the door, which lead through the kitchen and conference rooms, and finally to the front desk. Now remember, we are dressed in wrinkled clothes, half asleep, hair CRAZY, carrying our luggage. I told the guy "There is strong smoke on the 5th floor." The guy at the desk informed us that I was the 20th person to say that, but that we were downwind of a brush fire. No worries. No fire in the hotel. We made our way back to our room, with our luggage, wrinkled clothes, and crazy hair. People were walking around like they didn't smell anything!! They MUST have been high!! We got back to our room, but I insisted that we sleep fully clothed with our luggage packed and ready to go JUST IN CASE. Try sleeping after THAT! Anyway, we did get a little sleep here and there.
We spent the rest of the day walking around Winter Park, going to museums and on the boat ride. Cheryl met up with us and spent the afternoon with us. It was great! We decided to head home around 5ish, then changed our minds. I said, "Lets go to Olde Town" which is one of my
"happy memory" places from my Disney days! We walked around, looked in the shops and watched crazy people embarrass themselves on the mechanical bull!! We even found hot sauce with Mississippi State on it!!! It was the perfect way to end a great weekend!!! Fun times!!

I will try to update this blog more often. Sorry for the long delay!! I still need to write about my new job.

The First Day of the Rest of My Life.

I have been putting off writing a post partially out of denial, partially out of not wanting to stimulate the flood of emotions that is certain to happen. Yesterday was my last day at HPH Hospice (Hernando Pasco Hospice when I started 9 years and 2 months ago.) This has been the longest time that I have stayed at a job, and far longer than any romantic relationship I have been in. I have learned so much about life, living, family dynamics, psych issues, drug issues, love, pain, bowels, elderly sexuality, nudist resorts, compassion, stress, tenacity, hope, dying, peace, angels, laughing until you lose bladder control, and crying until you vomit.
In 1997 my sister Dana started working at Hernando Pasco Hospice as the Children's Assistance Program coordinator. I was quickly recruited by her to volunteer at CAP camp as the camp nurse with Traci (who would later become my supervisor and one of my favorite people.) It was such a soul touching/soul searching experience to see the honesty and strength of grieving children. I am forever impacted by the experience. In 1999 I attended my 2nd CAP camp and met Dana's new boss Chaplain Tom, who would become a wonderful friend to both Dana and me, and a person who tried with all of his might to teach me to control my stress with breathing and mindfulness and meditation. (I did GREAT when he was there, but not so great on my own.) I am still trying though. It was difficult to tell Tom that I was leaving, so I took the chicken $H!t way out and told him by email. He met up with us for lunch in Miami this past weekend, and we visited and took him to Bass ProShop and the airport. He also came over yesterday to tell me goodbye. He is so special! In 2001 I interviewed in Hudson, then they sent me to East Pasco to meet with Dawn and the supervisors. I sat in the "old office" waiting for Dawn. There was a receptionist who looked like Dame Edna (perfect hair, perfect makeup, sweet looking older lady) then a young girl walked in and Dame Edna started yelling at her "Laura Weber, you little shit! I am going to beat your little ass if you don't turn in your damn notes!!" I thought, "I am in the wrong place. Dame Edna is a mean mean woman." Laura would become one of my best friends, one of my bridesmaids, and may still have issues with timeliness of turning in notes. A few years later I "saved" Dame Edna's (Sara) life by killing a baby black widow spider that was on her desk. She is deathly afraid of spiders. She retired, and we miss her so much. I actually took the job and moved by the end of November. After orientation I was put on the ECF/ALF team where I was paired with nurse Rhoda (who I had worked with at CAP camp), Jeanne and Kristi as my home health aides, and Laura (the little shit that Dame Edna was yelling at!) We had a great team! I quickly became attached at the hip with Jeanne, so much so that some of the nursing homes thought I was a home health aide. She taught me how to stand and "fight it out" instead of running away from issues, which was my way of dealing with conflict. She did this by pissing me off, then putting the child locks on the doors and driving around town until I would fight with her. I have learned so much more from her than she has from me! (Some good, some bad, and some really really dirty!) I did teach her to quit mixing multiple scents on patients, making them smell like a mixed fruit salad. Jeanne worked feverishly to find me "a man" for years. She would stop in the middle of the street, roll down MY window, and yell out at any man that was listening "My friend thinks you are hot and she is single! She has a big ass and tits too!" Now that I think about it, why do I love Jeanne??? She has tortured me! Seriously, we have so much fun picking on each other! She and Mike were in our wedding too. Mike also came to my last Zumba class and danced with us!! That was amazing! When I worked in the nursing homes with Jeanne we went to one that had a DEMON of a nurse Diane. She was mean to me, argued with me, and made me cry a lot. I almost quit hospice at 4 1/2 years because of Diane. I switched to the home team to get away from Demon Diane, hoping to make it to 5 years 3 months so I would be fully vested in my profit sharing. THEN Dawn wanted to hire her!! AND she did hire her!! I wanted to barf every time I saw her, but she was on my turf now! Then one day something changed. I realized that my patients were well cared for, medicated appropriately, clean, neat, and their families were prepared for what was happening. She was GREAT at hospice nursing. This woman who used to fight me and didn't want to medicate patients was doing a great job! I finally told her "Oh, I know my patient is going to be in good hands" when I saw she was the 24 hour nurse. Today, she is a wonderful friend and I wouldn't trade her for anything. I worked closely with a wonderful group of nurses, home health aides, social workers and chaplains on the ECF team, then the home team. Just before I got married Traci broke the news to me that she was transferring to the East Hernando office, so the supervisor position would be open. I thought about it, applied, and took the position. This decision would take me out of the field and put me in the office with Kristi (who was my HHA when I first started). I have grown very close to Kristi after spending so much time with her. We laugh at each other, shoot rubber bands, and throw small paper clips at each other. We had a great time. That doesn't mean we didn't get irritated with each other. It was a hard decision to leave her, as well as Jeanne, Diane, Bonnie, Tom, the list goes on and on. These people are my family, and have seen me through so much over the years. I will have to post specific memories as I think of them. This is the first post of many about my wonderful memories and why I will miss them.

A Funny Memory.

Yesterday was Mama's 21st birthday again. She took off work and she and Daddy went to Vicksburg, which is a very usual way for her to celebrate her 21st birthdays. I called at 6:45am Mississippi time to sing to her, which is a big tradition in our family. Every family member calls and sings their own rendition of HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Occasionally I have to leave it on the answering machine, which scares the Bejesus out of me because I can't sing and I don't want it to "come back to haunt me" later. When I called, I "beeped in" on Dana, Clint and Ryan's call. Mama was awake (thank goodness) so we chatted while I drove to work about their plans for the day. Well, my phone rang at work and it was Mama. She was calling to inform me that they "made a wrong turn" (not likely since they have been to Vicksburg 1 million times) and ended up in Louisiana. She said "Guess where?" If I had made a "wrong turn" I would have ended up in New Orleans, but she hates New Orleans, so I knew that wasn't it. She informed me that she was in Tallulah, Louisiana at Daiquiri World. Here is the Daiquiri World story:
When Daddy worked on Eagle Lake for 9 years, Mama and I would go exploring. We kept hearing this ADORABLE commercial for "Daiquiri World in Tallulah" and it sounded FUN!! In our minds it was cute, had lots of pastel neon lights, and was just a happy place! That is what the commercial made it sound like! (I saw a "Fat Tuesday" later and thought "That is what I expected from Daiquiri World") Well, one Saturday we decided to try it out, so we drove to Tallulah and found Daiquiri World. We wouldn't believed it was the right place except it had a crappy old hand painted sign that let us know this was it. It was a little old tin shop with no windows, no neon. There were a few women coming out, which should have been a sign of what was to come. Lets say, If the blue eyeshadow factory exploded, these women would not have been able cope emotionally. We walked past the BLUE eyeshadow "ladies" and walked into the door. It was so dark inside, then the door slammed behind us. It took a few minutes for our eyes to adjust and we were locked arm in arm. Of course everyone turned to look at us. We were in! It was full of "seedy looking characters" and we looked like Quakers in our turtle necks and jeans. One guy walked by and said "Nice vest" to me. Mama thought he said "Nice chest" so she was ready to get the hell out as soon as our eyes adjusted. We turned around and walked out. Mama decided that since we had driven over here, we should at least go through the DRIVE THRU for a daiquiri. (I don't know if they still have a drive thru, but it was a big Mississippi/Louisiana thing to have drive thru beer barns and alcohol.) When we drove up, Mama (using her sweet southern voice) told the "lady" (who was hanging out of a hole in the side of the tin building like a trucker and had a cigarette hanging out of the corner of her lips) " We would like 2 strawberry daiquiris. This is our first time to come to Daiquiri World. You see we drove over from Vicksburg because we heard the commercial." The "lady" said in her gravely voice, "Yeah, I just saw y'all walk in the front door and leave." Of course she saw us. We sipped our daiquiris and headed back to Eagle lake laughing. This was another "Griswold adventure" that didn't turn out at all like we expected, but we lived to tell the story. Happy Birthday Mama and thanks for so many funny and wonderful memories!! I love you!